This post originally appeared at HypotheticalFatherhood.com, my 2011 side project as I prepared to become a father. Please click here to read more about the project, its migration to The Life Mosaic, and see the entire HF archive list.
If you’ve ever tried to get a newborn to calm down, you know that swaddling can be a key factor in helping your baby get comfortable and cute all at the same time. Observe:
Wrapping a baby in a tight, light blanket specifically for swaddling keeps it warm and cozy in a stance and overall feel reminiscent of being in the womb and they absolutely love it. This tightly-swaddled baby is often referred to as a “Baby Burrito” or, in my family which has some Chinese heritage, a “Baby Egg Roll.”
After swaddling a newborn, many parents, even the most stoic of fathers, may find it difficult not to tell their sweet child that they are indeed as “Snug as a Bug in a Rug!”
That catchy phrase certainly works, yet perhaps there are alternative similes that are more accurate and interesting…
Snug as a Hobbit in Shelob’s Web
Snug as an Augustus in a Tube
Snug as a Ghostbuster in a Slime Coating
Snug as a Lumpy in a Carnictus
Snug as a Space Jockey in a Facehugger
Snug as a Danson in a Creepshow
Snug as a Voight in an Anaconda
Snug as an Alien in a Cocoon
Snug as a Jedi in a Trash Compactor
Snug as a Prisoner in an Anti-Escape Orb
Have another idea? Have something to say about these? Post your comment, please.