You Have No Friends Online.

Thank you, Battlefield: Bad Company 2 multiplayer screen, for letting more know. And in such a caring manner! You’re so caring that, in a way, you’re my friend!You know how to give people bad news. You should be a doctor.Level with me: is it because I nabbed their dog tags and they don’t like me … Read more

Hypothetical Fatherhood #4 | Cut the Cord

This post originally appeared at, my 2011 side project as I prepared to become a father. Please click here to read more about the project, its migration to The Life Mosaic, and see the entire HF archive list.

Cutting the umbilical cord is a special moment for a new dad. Some fathers have emotional difficulty doing so because they’re worried about any pain that could result from cutting tissue connected to the mother and the baby. Don’t worry, though, because there are no nerve endings in the umbilical cord and no one will feel any pain from the severing whatsoever. Now that that’s out of the way, you can also get the little scissors the doctor or midwife will hand you out of the way, too, because you have a lot more options available to you when it comes time to cut the cord.

Ten Ways You Can Never Cut the Cord:

10. Craft Scissors

Pick the pattern that works the best to create a stylin’ stomach stump on baby for the next few days.

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