Hypothetical Fatherhood #3 | Breastmilk Storage: Star Wars Style

This post originally appeared at HypotheticalFatherhood.com, my 2011 side project as I prepared to become a father. Please click here to read more about the project, its migration to The Life Mosaic, and see the entire HF archive list.

Making sure your newborn infant has all of the nutritious breastmilk it needs in that first year is important. That’s why pumping and storing breastmilk is no laughing matter. Sure, you can store breastmilk in the fridge for a few days, and even the freezer for a few months. And don’t forget a deep freeze is good for nearly a year. However, there are alternative places to store your breastmilk for your baby, courtesy of the Star Wars universe.

Three Breastmilk Storage Areas from The Empire Strikes Back

1. Taun Taun

Strap filled milk bottles to the belly strap of your saddle around your Taun Taun and you’ve always got baby’s meal on the go. Do you need to warm it up in a jiffy? Let your Taun Taun freeze after you reach the third marker, take your buddy’s lightsaber, and slice open that Taun Taun belly. That steaming pile of tubular guts is going to get that bottle warm in no time (note: be sure to set the bottle near the guts and not in the guts to avoid “hot spots” in the milk). Good for up to two years of storage.

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