This Twitter feed originally appeared @hypotheticaldad between 2011-2014 as part of my HypotheticalFatherhood.com side project as I prepared for, and entered, fatherhood. Please click here to read more about the project, its migration to The Life Mosaic, and see the entire HF archive list.
The following 100 tweets are satire. They’re joke lines I wrote reflecting on my experiences with an infant / toddler. In case you think any of these inappropriate, please know that a) I love my daughter (the one born at the time of the tweets and the other one, too!) and b) that was the point of the Hypothetical Fatherhood experiment, and c) Twitter, for me, is like a car: I don’t know how it works, I just use it. The handle, @hypotheticaldad, no longer exists (though @thelifemosaic does). The tweets appear in reverse-chronological order, so you may get a kick out of reading backward or scrolling down and starting forward, your call.
Hypothetical Dad @hypotheticaldad · Jan 17 2014
Morning: “No, I don’t want to go to day care!” Afternoon: “No, I don’t want to go home!” You’re running out of options, girl.