Webster's Dictionary Defines "Dictionary" As…

2013.03.02 Websters Dictionary Defines Dictionary As
“That thing which gets quoted in the beginning of speeches and essays as having a standard definition for stuff but then is quickly discarded and dismissed as too basic because, really, my grandma is a whole lot more than what any stupid old dictionary could dictate so you’d think we’d be bitter about being trash-talked so often and yet without us there would be no point of reference for comparison so please, for the love of God, please buy a dictionary so writers can continue being cliché!”*
* In reality, Mirriam-Webster’s Dictionary lists four definitions for “dictionary” and none are the one listed above but that’s the one I think of whenever I hear a speech or read an essay that starts with “Webster’s Dictionary defines such-and-such as…”
Come on. That was cliché when I was in middle school.
P.S. Incidentally, guess which book I reviewed begins with a Webster’s dictionary definition…

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