Hypothetical Fatherhood #9 | New Similes for “Snug as a Bug in a Rug”

This post originally appeared at HypotheticalFatherhood.com, my 2011 side project as I prepared to become a father. Please click here to read more about the project, its migration to The Life Mosaic, and see the entire HF archive list.

If you’ve ever tried to get a newborn to calm down, you know that swaddling can be a key factor in helping your baby get comfortable and cute all at the same time. Observe:

Wrapping a baby in a tight, light blanket specifically for swaddling keeps it warm and cozy in a stance and overall feel reminiscent of being in the womb and they absolutely love it. This tightly-swaddled baby is often referred to as a “Baby Burrito” or, in my family which has some Chinese heritage, a “Baby Egg Roll.”

After swaddling a newborn, many parents, even the most stoic of fathers, may find it difficult not to tell their sweet child that they are indeed as “Snug as a Bug in a Rug!”

That catchy phrase certainly works, yet perhaps there are alternative similes that are more accurate and interesting…

Snug as a Hobbit in Shelob’s Web

Snug as an Augustus in a Tube

Snug as a Ghostbuster in a Slime Coating

Snug as a Lumpy in a Carnictus

Snug as a Space Jockey in a Facehugger

Snug as a Danson in a Creepshow

Snug as a Voight in an Anaconda

Snug as an Alien in a Cocoon

Snug as a Jedi in a Trash Compactor

Snug as a Prisoner in an Anti-Escape Orb

Have another idea? Have something to say about these? Post your comment, please.


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