Hypothetical Fatherhood has migrated to The Life Mosaic.

I’ve migrated my blog posts and twitter feed for my 2011 side project, Hypothetical Fatherhood, to here at The Life Mosaic.
In the months leading up to becoming a father in 2011, I created Hypothetical Fatherhood to explore and share some of the creative-yet-inappropriate ideas running through my head as I prepared for this new role in my life. Eventually, I lost steam for posting on the blog, which required quite a bit of time commitment, and shifted to a Twitter-only feed. However, I found keeping up the character of a “meta” version of myself wasn’t authentic enough for me to feel invested, especially on Twitter where it seems like a majority of my friends are themselves there and I was just in it for the jokes. It was fun and I’m glad for the experiment, and in the end it was yet one more thing on my plate and I let it go.
That’s one of the best things about creativity: sometimes, you get to let something go.
So I let it go. And now I bring it here. So it lives on, archived for (at the very least) my own amusement and to confuse people who happen into

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Webster's Dictionary Defines "Dictionary" As…

“That thing which gets quoted in the beginning of speeches and essays as having a standard definition for stuff but then is quickly discarded and dismissed as too basic because, really, my grandma is a whole lot more than what any stupid old dictionary could dictate so you’d think we’d be bitter about being trash-talked … Read more

Accidental Playlist – Devo, Al Green, Simon & Garfunkel.

2013.02.09 Accidental Playlist
My phone has decided the Greatest Hits albums from Devo, Al Green, and Simon & Garfunkel are all one big mash-up album, a song at a time from each artist, over and over, for 45 tracks total.
In a way, such an eclectic mix is a testament to my being a mosaic of tastes and influences. In another way, it’s just plain weird. So many of these forty-five tracks are love songs and nearly all of them have an emotional core of longing, pining, desire. So three artists, all quite active in the 1970s, all exploring similar themes, yet in highly nuanced, completely different stylistic approaches: New Wave, Soul, and Folk, respectively.
I’m left with three options:
1. Pick and choose songs individually.
2. Create playlists for each album.
3. Embrace one of the most fascinating accidental playlists I’ve ever experienced.
The songs appear in the recurring order of Devo, Al Green, Simon & Garfunkel. Grouping the songs into trios, there are some

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You Have No Friends Online.

Thank you, Battlefield: Bad Company 2 multiplayer screen, for letting more know. And in such a caring manner! You’re so caring that, in a way, you’re my friend!You know how to give people bad news. You should be a doctor.Level with me: is it because I nabbed their dog tags and they don’t like me … Read more

$5 Milkshake Recipe.

$5 Milkshake Recipe: 1. Milk. 2. Ice Cream. 3. Bourbon. Mixed it together and serve it Martin & Lewis style. Enjoy. Share, if you don’t have cooties. (Note: A lot of people mess up and put in the third ingredient because they think that’s what will make the milkshake worth $5 but they’re wrong.) -nm

Hypothetical Fatherhood #9 | New Similes for “Snug as a Bug in a Rug”

This post originally appeared at HypotheticalFatherhood.com, my 2011 side project as I prepared to become a father. Please click here to read more about the project, its migration to The Life Mosaic, and see the entire HF archive list.

If you’ve ever tried to get a newborn to calm down, you know that swaddling can be a key factor in helping your baby get comfortable and cute all at the same time. Observe:

Wrapping a baby in a tight, light blanket specifically for swaddling keeps it warm and cozy in a stance and overall feel reminiscent of being in the womb and they absolutely love it. This tightly-swaddled baby is often referred to as a “Baby Burrito” or, in my family which has some Chinese heritage, a “Baby Egg Roll.”

After swaddling a newborn, many parents, even the most stoic of fathers, may find it difficult not to tell their sweet child that they are indeed as “Snug as a Bug in a Rug!”

That catchy phrase certainly works, yet perhaps there are alternative similes that are more accurate and interesting…

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Hypothetical Fatherhood #8 | George Lucas Appeals to Dads, Episode II

This post originally appeared at HypotheticalFatherhood.com, my 2011 side project as I prepared to become a father. Please click here to read more about the project, its migration to The Life Mosaic, and see the entire HF archive list.

By now, you may have heard the rumors of new additions, tweaks, and unnecessary changes being made to the Star Wars films for their release on Blu-ray this month. The internet is going insane over this, people are choosing the light side or the dark side, and many diehard fanboys are canceling their pre-orders (this fanboy, who has spent much of his disposable income on Star Wars merchandise over the years, didn’t even place an order in the first place).

In an effort to appeal to young men who grew up watching Star Wars and who are now working fathers, George Lucas has added new scenes to the Star Wars trilogy. Check out this scene from The Empire Strikes Back

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